25. How I found passion and purpose

Following desires leads to the unexpected - and news about my upcoming O'Hanlon Writing Residency!

Hello friends,

When we hold out waiting for the right job or relationship, the one that shows up is usually different than what we expected. In 1996, I found both. And now, in 2025, life is giving me that again. Let’s start with 1996.

25. Back to San Francisco

Last week, I wrote about meeting Mark while temping at Access Graphics. Our relationship got off to a rocky start, but by late spring, we were a pair. We would meet on our lunch breaks by the creek in downtown Boulder to eat sandwiches and sunbathe. We would drive to Denver for sushi while playing Oasis’ Wonderwall on cassette and signing into the wind out the windows of his Chevy S-10 Blazer. “I don’t believe that anybody feels the way I do about you now.”

Once, riding in Mark’s Blazer with my foot out the window, the wind blew a favorite shoe off my foot into the roadside ethers. We saw Oasis live at the Mammoth in Denver and jammed with Phish on their four-night run at Red Rocks Amphitheater. I had been following Phish since they came to Middlebury in 1991 and did not expect to meet another phan in Colorado. We became partners in chasing joy.

Blazer Babe, 1996

Career breakthrough

While Mark and I were in the throes of romantic passion, I found professional passion after a three-year search. I was sent as a temp to the Qualitative Research Centre (QRC) in downtown Boulder to answer the phones for founders Arnie Jacobson and Vickie Johns. The phone didn’t ring very often, so I spent my days reading their research reports and poring over computer files. After having turned down several opportunities for full-time work, I had finally found what I was looking for: intellectual stimulation on the job. I did not expect it to be in the advertising industry.

Arnie and Vickie were part of a wave of British account planners who came to the U.S. to disrupt the advertising industry with their thoughtful analysis of consumers whom they interviewed in focus groups, in-home, and street settings. Levi’s, Nike, and their respective advertising agencies were QRC’s main clients. Arnie picked up on my interest in the work and hired me back as a temp when they needed extra help. I mailed resumes to the few ad agencies in Boulder and Denver and quickly understood that I would have better chances of getting a job in a bigger city like San Francisco.

It had always been my plan to move back to San Francisco, but I knew I needed a purpose, and now I had one. My roommate Ben got into law school in Portland, and our lease was up at the end of August. So I sold my futon, packed up, and bought a one-way ticket to San Francisco. A teary airport goodbye was followed by a month of sleeping on Pam’s floor and eating burritos in the Mission District while temping and sending out resumes to a list of ad agency contacts Arnie had given me. Every week, I went to a newsstand on Polk Street to buy ADWEEK, the advertising industry’s trade rag, which I combed for news about San Francisco agencies and wrote down names of people to whom I could write. I kept detailed records of my search and even kept the rejection letters.

Making Phish history in Las Vegas

On December 6, the anniversary of our first date, Mark and I met in Las Vegas for a Phish concert at the Aladdin Theater. The historic show, with an encore that included Elvis impersonators, Les Claypool, and other members of the band Primus, was recorded and later released as a live album in 2007.

What historical moments have you inadvertently been part of?

The fine art of myth-making

Mark has a special talent for celebrating the moment, making the ordinary seem extravagant, as if you are living inside an epic movie of your own life. Following Phish reifies that belief because history could be made at any concert (they do not repeat songs or set lists from show to show). For example, phans at Red Rocks that year organized the “Hood” response chant during the song “Harry Hood” by handing out flyers. Nearly 30 years later, it’s a crowd favorite.

Telling the story while I’m living it has always come a little harder for me. Writing about the past is my preferred method for reflecting on my experiences and building them into stories. Connecting the dots of my own life over time and place gives me great joy, a passion that took quite a few more years to discover.

July agenda: Writer in residence

In 2008, I quit my job in a fury of disillusionment and decided to write a book about my childhood. While writing that book, setting it aside in 2014 and then returning to it almost a decade later, I lived into a new story that’s been documented with extensive journals, photographs, and notes. The quest for enlightenment took me through several spiritual communities, to the art world in Texas, and back to Mill Valley and writing.

This July, I will be the Writer in Residence at O’Hanlon Center for the Arts here in Mill Valley, working on the tentatively titled Enlightenment Diaries. The residency entails the daytime use of this rustic writing shed with a surprisingly modern interior on the O’Hanlon grounds, a mile from my apartment.

When I began exploring art in 2014, I did not expect it to return me to writing, only now at an art center! I became involved with O’Hanlon when I was making visual art—a flag photo was exhibited there in 2023.

I’m looking forward to seeing what mythical themes emerge from the events I want to write about. Experience has taught me that where I start in any artistic endeavor is not where I’ll end up, so I’ll be quiet about what I’m working on for a while.

May you experience the joy of discovering that where you’re going is better than what you thought it would be when you started.

Love,

Lee Ann